After I spent great evening talking to Daniel Vach, sharing stories and learning about his Cricket floor bars startup Sens Foods, I left the pub and I started looking for a bus to the Prague Airport. It was December 31th, 2016, about 2 am. The bus left just in front of my nose, so I decided to walk a few stops in order to stay warm and burn some alcohol. I enjoy the night scenes of Prague. Whilst the days are dominated by conservative locals and annoying crowds of tourists, the nights belong to the drunks and the rich underground. I was walking past a bench and I noticed a cheerful middle aged lady sitting – somewhat rare! Just think, it's the middle of the night, it's freezing, and she is happily sitting alone on a bench. So I commented: "Having fun?"
She replied: – "Why you smile like that? ...you want a blow job?"
"I think I'm good. But thank you kindly." (Really, am I sure what I'm losing?)
– "Where are you going?"
"I'm on my way to Miami."
– "What there?"
"There is a sailor I'm going to hang out with."
– "Lucky you! Boy, come and sit here for a bit. ...you won't mind inviting me for some fire water – since it's the New Year – would you?"
We got into a conversartion.
– "So you go to Miami? How much is the flight?" She asked.
"About $300, not much, besides need to go to US anyways, I later continue to New York where I study."
– "You must have reach parents to study in New York?!"
"Not really, I'm paid by school."
– "How did you manage that? The school really pays you? I want to study there too!"
"I know some math, I think that helped me."
– "Math? Holly shit, what's that? Hehehe, that's something I don't get. I admire you! How do that, something wrong in your head? I never could get those quations or what is it. I studied chemichal high school, you know... They gave me samples to analyze, I fucking drunk them,...by the end of the school, we were just making alcohol in the labs. But those quations were beyon me."
After a while I bought her a small bottle of vodka and coke. She took the bottle of coke, poured part of it away, and refilled with vodka.
– "Do you also have fire water in New York?" She asked.
"There is coke and vodka, but no fire water there!"
We got into the topic of her profession.
"So you serve mostly forigners, don't you? Germans?" I asked.
– "Come on, locals are the best, the fereigners suck. Worst are the British!You'd think they come to Prague loaded with cash, but then they ask for a BJ and want to pay 200 Kč ($10). Am I a slat or what? Locals are the best, you know, it's different, I do a quick one and I get 1500 Kč."
She continued: "It's good that I met you, I'll warm up drinking, I get into the mood, and money come instantly."
"What time you got here?" I asked.
– "Just moment ago, when I met you. It's too early, customers come towards the morning, you understand, Pavel?"
"How long will you stay?"
–"6 am or something."
"That's it, only 3 hours of work?"
–"Sure! I do two quck blows and I can go home with 2000 Kč. You know, this is my life! Should I work as a cashier or something for the pennies they pay? I'm not insane! I sack a few ones and I get what those slaves sweat all month for!"
– "You know, sometimes I'm lucky. I finished with this guy and he asked me how much. I said 700. He was surprised that it is so much. Cheap ass! So, he went to the ATM for cash and gave me 7000. Then I understood. You know, they are often out of mind, it's like that, or I say 500 and he pays 5000, that happens."
– "Some people are strange. That guy, he told me to get naked on a table and play a han – Kocko-kocko-daaak, Kocko-kocko-daak, and like that. Then he got naked and started playing a kock – Kikirikee, Kikirikee, and went on jerking off! ...Holly shit, I was wondering what will come next, and then he wanted me to lay eggs.
"That sounds exactly like one of the stories in the radio series Tlučhorovi! You know Tlučhorovi? The endless stories by Kaiser and Labus."
– "Ah, Kaiser! He is also my customer! He is fun, he always says that if I manage to find his little one while doing the BJ, he will pay me extra.
...He pays well, once he was so drunk that he just gave me his card and a PIN. He told me – you will never have money because you are a whore, but just in case, I will teach you how to withdraw money now."
I'm skeptical about someone claiming to know a famous actor closely, but the way her story was resembling the one I knew from the radio amaized me. Perhaps a radio listener of the Tlučhorovi series got real inspiration in it!
– "Once my 32 years old son was passing by in a car with his colleagues here. He works as a policeman that idiot. He slew down as he was passing by and shouted out – Mum? What are you doing at this place, here at night?! I said I had girlfriends here and added – Honney, with your degree from the police academy you should know! But he never figgered that out, hehehe."
"Your son is so old? I thought you were younger!"
– "No, no, I'm 56, Pavel."
"You look like in your fourties! How long have you been doing this job?"
– "Thank you, thank you. I guess its thirty years. The best times were before the revolution, I was living like a queen!"
"And you never got any disease over all those years?"
– "Come on, why? There are condoms no?! Look, like this. Besides, I do mostly BJs."
"Never breaks? How you make sure they use it? What if they do from behind?"
– "I rarely let anybody in. I don't have mood for that, it's not for me any more. I don't enjoy it. You know, I won't have sex for months sometimes. You understand? When I need 15000 Kč quickly, then I tell him to do it from behind and I let him fuck my hand. They are often so drunk they won't recognize the difference."
– "Recently, I saw this beatiful, but really beautiful girl. Young, maybe 24. But really beautiful, you know what I mean? And after chatting for a while she told me she got Syphilis. She had it long untreated and it got all over her. She is gonna be on medication for the rest of the life. Luckily, I never fell into this. Or you know, many of these girls are on drugs."
– "No, they are all on heroin, that is the worst. They get the that think, how is it called, you know what, after, when they don't have it. So they run without rubber to quickly buy more. That is the end!" ... "Many girls are homeless here. Before winter I was walking here past the water fountain and I saw this girl washing herself in it, her hair and everything. That is too bad." ... "I always lived well. I would buy apartments. I bought one for myself, one for my mother,...I bought a house there in the north. I always had good base."
"How did you get in your profession?"
– "Hehehe, I always wanted to be a bar tender. A friend told me that bar tenders are all whores. And you see, here I am!!!
I saw my Mum how she would destroy her health working. So I told myself I don't want to end up like that. I was working in a bar, and then you know, step by step. In fivee minutes I would get what others for a month working long night shifts. And so what? Everybody does it!"
– "I didn't know what a tram or tube was thise days. I was taking only taxi everywhere,...buying flats. Before the revolution, the normal monthly salary was 2,500 Kč, I could have it in an hour. Super! Others barely had any Tuzex vouchers, I was only buying stuff in Tuzex. And shortly after the revolution it was even better, you can't imagine how much we were making!"
"I thought that everybody had to have a job during communisim?"
– "Come on, I just needed a stamp. Some cleaning..., we had friends you know, it was easy to get a stamp."
"You never had problem with macks?"
– "Not at all, there are none here. They tried a few times, but the police caught them all, they have no chance here in Prague."
"And how about there near the German borders, the E55 I mean."
– "I worked there too, it was a paradise, but then as you say, the macks came, there are many gipsies there..."
– "Look at these taxi drivers around here. They don't have much. It used to be different, but they don't have much. One said – give me a BJ! – How much you have? – 200 – No, thanks, I have eaten!"
–"Next week is gonna be cold, like -10 C. Imagine those girls here, most of them will work no matter what, they have no where to go. I'm so glad I work only when I want. I just got a pension of 15000 Kč a month, so I take it easy. I live in the house there in the north, have indoor fire place, beatiful house with the view of nature. I watch deers right from my window. And then you know, I go to Prague time to time – to see my son, and I stop here to make a few thousands sacking Ds."
–"I do everything myself, you know, what I don't do for myself, I don't get. These guy have schools, fancy jobs, and when something happens they are all screwed...and they ask for my help. You know, all those schools, useless!"
"It's almost 4 am, I should go to catch my flight."
– "When you have it?"
"I think 6:30 or something, let me check. ...Hmm, so 6:00 already, I should better run."
– "I need to work now anyways."
"I'm a bad customer, I know."
– "Never minds. But catch the flight!"
"Happy New Year!"